Overcoming Overwhelm With Self-Care & Love

Overcoming Overwhelm With Self-Care & Love

The Overwhelm Tailspin

It’s relatively easy to get overwhelmed these days when the demands on us are never-ending, and the supply of what we have to give seems to be shrinking in proportion.

We feel overwhelmed when there are too many stressors on us, when we’re handling too much for too long, and when we fear on some level, that we’re going to lose control and everything’s going to come tumbling down.

With each added task or obligation, things we can easily do, and might even enjoy if we only had to do that one thing, we become more impaired, drained, irritable, anxious, intolerant, upset, even sad or hopeless.

When you feel like you’re about to burst into tears because one more thing needs your attention and energy, or you lash out in vehement anger at someone or something that isn’t going your way, you know you’re in overwhelm.

You need to know, and you probably do on some level, that this state cannot go on for long without drastic consequences to your health, well-being, your relationships, your career and your future. You’re heading down a negative, downward spiral and from within this state of being, almost everything you do and how you do it, carries with it a negative charge. You don’t perform as well as you normally could, your relationships are tainted and people are put off by your mood or attitude, you’re liable to self-sabotage and the results you get from this place make you feel even worse.

Sorry to be such a downer and throw some more fuel into the overwhelm inferno but you have to realize and accept that if you keep going this way, things are just going to get worse. Your survival brain, or ego, doesn’t want to hear that. I know. It wants to keep pushing you to handle everything, the way you always do, but you need to tell yourself to STOP THIS RIGHT NOW! Stop this cycle and downward spiral.

“But I can’t”, you say. “Nothing will get done. Things will fall apart. Who’s going to do it if I don’t? Everyone needs me and no one can help me. I have to do it all. I have no choice! F-you!”

Right. I understand. What you need isn’t one more imposition on you.

Let’s get to the point – you need some love and care. (Uggghhh. Did I just lose you? If love and care are too fluffy, warm and fuzzy for you, then let’s call it something more scientific if that will help you take better care of yourself  – how about ‘you need to deactivate your Sympathetic Nervous System and activate your Parasympathetic Nervous System for a while.)

Be Good to Yourself

Love and care will help you come back to yourself – renew you, relax you, recharge you and help you feel better about yourself. As a result, your thinking will be clearer, your mind will be more open, creative and resourceful, and your body will be more relaxed, at peace and energized.

But who’s going to give it to you?

You are.

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Power of Language

by Fran Fisher    

Language is power. When we speak, we exercise the power of language to transform reality”. ~ Julia Penelope, Speaking Freely


Are you driving toward your goal with one foot on the accelerator and one foot on the brake?

My client Robert was frustrated because he was not making progress toward his goal of finishing his first year in business with a 10% profit. When I challenged Robert to make a commitment to an action, he would respond with tentative words such as “probably” or “maybe.”  When he referred to his relationship with his business partner, he would point his finger and use “blame” language, like “He always makes me_____.”

I offered Robert the feedback that his desires and his spoken words didn’t match.  This was causing the same diminishing effect as driving his car across town with one foot on the accelerator and one foot on the brake.

The Power in Words

The words we use express our thoughts, feelings and attitudes. Your thoughts, feelings, and attitude drive your actions.  Business coaches and leaders know that the words we speak are clues that identify underlying beliefs and attitudes that may be blocking us from achieving positive results. Words have power that affects us physically, mentally and emotionally. They have the inherent capacity to give energy or take energy away.

  • Empowering language is responsible, powerful, and energizing!
  • Dis-empowering language is power-less. When you think it or speak it, you diminish yourself and minimize other’s contributions. Few people respect a leader who diminishes himself or herself!

Steve Zaffron and Dave Logan point to the power of empowering language in their book The Three Laws of Performance. Their three laws are:

  1. How people perform correlates to how situations occur to them.
  2. How a situation occurs arises in language.
  3. Future-based language transforms how situations occur to people.

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